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Meaning and reality were not hidden somewhere behind things, they were in them, in all of them
— Hermann Hesse
francois noah by ryan geary.jpg

Do you ever feel insecure, like Dumbo the elephant who doesn't believe he can fly without holding a magic feather?

photo by Ryan Geary

Dumbo could fly. He was given humongous ears he could use as wings. But he didn't believe in his own power. It took the entire film for him to free himself from fear and fly without the feather.

Hermann Hesse and Dumbo the elephant are amongst the inspiration I found in immersing myself in the study of "mind stuff".

In the summer of 2016,  I stopped being an Instagram "content creator".  Around the same time, my photography needed a new breath.

After years of shooting pretty people, making them prettier and self timing myself jumping butt naked all over  the Californian landscape, I needed more than re-brand work, I needed to rejuvenate myself.

I had more to share than sexy pictures. So I put my clothes back on to figure out my next relevant move. 

I needed guidance. I found it through words, nature and physical health.


Writing was always a passion of mine. Yet, when I moved to the US, I didn’t feel my english was good enough, so I turned my focus to photography instead. 


I went back to words. I created a vision board and started dreaming at a higher vibration.

picture: Life is but a dream

I spent days on end reading spiritual teachings, listening to interviews of unconventional artists, philosophers and other self-help gurus. I kept a diary, wrote down thoughts, dreams and ideas. 

What my teachers have in common is the drive to create and carry on against odds and challenging life circumstances.  And they have ways to convey those experiences into words that can help others. They help me everyday. Life is not just about being happy for me. It's about developing and sharing an authentic talent with the world. This deep study into my own mind and its design made me realize I needed to re-align myself with the laws of Nature to make my next creative move.

Amongst the strongest inspiration, I watched many videos about people who went through Near Death Experiences -or NDE. Millions of people had a NDE and all of them say they are no longer afraid of death after this unique and often indescribable out of body experience


the experiencers believe we are, in fact, spiritual eternal beings having a human physical experience.

Believers in God or atheists, they all came back to life with the core belief we are incarnated on this physical plane to learn how to love.

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learning how to love. It became the

mantra of my metaphysical self-discovery.

And boy, with the many failed relationships in my past, I have a lot to learn!


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For sure, I didn’t create myself. I wouldn’t know where to start to create a human

picture: Rebirth

I rediscovered the Sacred and the Divine in Nature. I was never raised religious but I was always a believer in magic.

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The veins of a leaf and the veins on your body prove a similar design.You don’t have to believe in a higher intelligence. You can just see it at work.

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I can’t even walk and text yet there are countless unique creatures developping in unbelievable mathematical complexity and harmony.

As a child, every spring I would collect tadpoles from a nearby lake and watch them hatch, grow then morph eventually into tiny frogs. I loved watching that process. Once the tadpoles transformed into cute froggies, I would release them into the lake. Later that year, my mother would fish the grown frogs, chop their heads off and fry their legs. But that story is for another post...


A tree will bend left or right, around obstacles and go through cement to grow and be what it was designed to be. What determination!

Life is all around you, in every living creature, insects, plants and microscopic organisms. Inside of you, trillions of cells communicate in constant harmony to make your body functional and repair itself. Be aware of this universe inside of you and thank your cells for doing such a great job at maintaining the vehicle for this life you ride in. Cells appreciate encouragement!

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If you spend enough time with it, Nature becomes a mirror. You can see your reflection in nature. You reconnect to your original design. To your core being. You are back to where it all began.

picture: Life is but a dream #2


 I learned more about rejuvenating my body by trying different diets. I wanted to re-invent myself physically, too. Being adaptable is the secret to renewed energy. Youth isn't just skin deep. It is pure energy. I decided to experiment with my body and see how much energy I could rejuvenate from the inside out.

 I decided to dig deep and try a bunch of different diets to see what really works.

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I went vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free, raw and breatharian. I tried Guided Visualization, Transcendental Meditation, Emotional Freedom Techniques, Sunrise affirmations and laughing therapy.

For 2 years I exercised daily, gained muscles, lost weight, dyed my hair, shaved it, grew it back longer, grew a mustache, took cold showers, went off sugar and on 16/8 intermittent fasting.

I wasn’t just trying lifestyles, health habits and new looks, or trying to stay young and fit. I was consciously morphing myself. Monitoring  the invisible compass of the human rotting process to see how much mind control over the development of my own body I had.


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In a seemingly shallow pond, social media can help grow a community of humans looking for meaning. There is hope that we can become ourselves and turn things around in our lives. We can practice new disciplines and try new ways to live. It's possible and it's out there. And within ourselves we have the resources and the energy to re-invent and remain fresh.


Thanks to James Cassou and models Anna Dorfman @annaedorfman , Nikita and Jessica Salvano.

And special thanks to Zaxary Erickson @zaxaryerickson



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